Much trouble is caused to us by old and unresolved grief: walling up our hearts with fibrous layers that prevent new joy from coming through.
The cure probably lies (says common sense) through reclaiming those tears we have not wept. A cure that I have tried to inscribe deeply within The Chronicles of Lupa, a cure that has certainly worked for me.
In the quoted chapter Ruby seeks to find a way into the heart of Mary Magdalene, to release the sorrow within her that has "sunk and turned to stone".
The full paragraph:
"Ruby gently sought a way into the great one, past all of her held-back tears, but there were terribly hard places within Magdalene and Ruby found no way to enter. Her heart was walled up with the fibrous layers unique to old grief, a barrier built out of sorrow and hardened by self-reproach, holding out against Ruby as she sought to illuminate these protective layers of darkness upon darkness."
In another part of the narrative my character Lilith admits to the same kind of sorrow, coming out of what she identifies as her "antipathy to my own self" that has been "carved by persistent rivulets of my own unwept tears."
Because these layers are protective, the cure must be loving and also beautiful if it is to break through.
Perhaps that is why I liken it to a song when Ruby approaches Magdalene, with words of love and comfort, the kind of song that is irresistible "to this girl and to all of the lost and the lonely, especially those lost when they are so young."
P. Julian
21 August 2018
For a limited time From the Chronicles of Lupa is available to read (Free!) online at my website. Go to https://www.pjulian.net/lupa-volume-1
Or you can order the paperback from Amazon and a number of other retailers.
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